Throwback Hat Tiers

     Say you're at an MLB game and you witness the Rockies beat the Giants.  Who's the winner in that game?  The Rockies?  No.  The clear winner is you, assuming you were wearing an awesome throwback hat, snapback or fitted...no buckles or velcro.  Nothing is more popular these days than the throwback baseball hat.  Roughly 90% of males ages 16-30 own one.  So how do you know what throwback hat is going to make you a god among men and which ones are going to make you look like a loser.  Have no worries, because I am here to clear things up with my patented MLB Throwback Hat Guide (not actually patented).  I will mention all 30 teams and rank them on Tier 1 (Awesome), Tier 2 (Pretty sweet), Tier 3 (eh...), Tier 4 (loser), and Tier 5, which is reserved for teams with no throwback logos (assholes).  With out further adieu.
TIER 1:
1.Diamondbacks - If you own the A or the D that is from the days when they used purple, teal and gold as their colors, congratulations, you sir are a very savvy hat buyer.  The D-Backs only came into existence in 1998, so this team should resonate very well with late teenagers and early 20 year-olds.  We watched them grow before our eyes into World Series Champions.  I'm not a big fan of their logo change in 2007, but whatever, at least it makes the throwbacks sweeter.
2.DEVIL Rays - I repeat, Devil Rays, not Rays.  Much like the D-Backs, this team is from our generation and carried a very awesome name.  Their throwbacks with the mantaray swimming across the TB are made all the better by the fact that the TB is multi colored.  10 out of 10 for Tampa.
3.Mariners - The Triton M in front of the star is one of the most badass logos ever conceived.  Their current logo is still pretty hot, but this is one of the best throwbacks anyone could ever own.
4.Brewers - We've all seen it.  The b and m creating a baseball glove.  Genius.
5.Blue Jays - I'm not even gonna hate on the fact that they're Canadian.  I love Canadians.  Just not Sydney Crosby.  Their old 80's looking Blue Jay is becoming more and more popular these days than it was back when they won the World Series in the early 90's.
6.Phillies - Granted I'm very biased for the Phillies, I dare you to tell me that the turquoise and crimson isn't one of the greatest color schemes ever.  You can't, because that would be a lie.  Plus the P that formed into a baseball in the middle section of the P is pure greatness.
TIER 2:
7.Nationals - I'm only putting them in Tier 2 because they used to be the Expos.  The fact that the Expos no longer exist makes the hat even more special.  Plus the M is made out of the letters e, l and b, which stands for something in French.  Instant conversation starter.  You must buy an Expos hat though, do not make the mistake of buying a throwback Washington Senators hat, because their logo, the most generic looking W ever, just plain sucks.
8.Angels - The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of California of the USA of North America have a plethora of old logos to choose from, all of which are great choices.  From the lower case a with the halo top left, or the winged A, or the C and A crossing, you can't go wrong with an Angels throwback.
9.Orioles - That grinning, possibly special-needs, oriole from the 80's...awesome.  Brings back happier memories before the Orioles were the whipping-boys of the AL East.
10.Padres - Gotta get the interlocked S and D that's orange and white on navy blue.  Simple, but effective.
11.Astros - Either a Colt 45's or pointy star version will do the trick. 
12.White Sox - Not a terrible choice, not great, but hey maybe you like Chicago.  So go for the one that was clearly ripped off the MLB logo.  The batter above the word Sox.  It's only ranked this high because not many people own it.
TIER 3:
13.Braves - Get the lower case a, or something with the cornstalk.  The normal Braves A looks suspiciously like a klan hat.  So go throwback or avoid the Braves altogether.
14.Marlins - Though they do not technically have a throwback yet, I'm putting them on tier 3 because of their rising stock.  When the team name changes to Miami Marlins next season those F hats are gonna look sharp.
15.Cubs - They've got the little teddybear like thing or the bear walking across the C.  I'm pretty sure you know which one would be best.
16.Cardinals - Their main throwback is a brown and orange version of their STL logo, because the team's name used to be the St. Louis Browns.  There's also a cool fleur-de-lis hat, which ties in with St. Louis somehow.  If you can find one of those, more power to ya.
17.Dodgers - Their old Brooklyn Dodgers B looks very similar to a Red Sox B.  This hat ranks in the bottom half because of the fact that many people may think you're a Red Sox fan.  You're better than that though.
18.A's - Their Philadelphia Athletics hat is basically just their same hat they have now with out the 's part.  And it's blue.  Very mediocre.
Tier 4:
19.Indians - While I guess their 'I' logo is technically a throwback now, give it some time to age.  Their main throwback would be that pitiful block C logo.  Much like Cleveland it is dull and uninspired.
20.Royals - While their bright blue is not technically throwback, it is often associated with the team in the 80's.  They're more about royal blue now, duh.  Either way the bright blue KC is still a damn fine hat.
21.Rangers - In dire need of a better throwback.  Right now it's just a simple block T.  Very boring.
22.Reds - While you're mustachioed amorphous baseball man is amusing, let's be honest here.  You ripped off Mr. Met.
23.Pirates - Their throwback had is horizontally striped and has a flattened top.  Wearing this hat will make you look like a moron, plain and simple.
24.Giants - Their New York Giants logo is just the Mets logo.  It did exist first and it was the Mets who ripped it off, but still...the logo is tainted with Met references.
Tier 5:
Alas we come to the final 6 teams that do not have throwbacks.  I don't care how classic you're logo is and how it never needs to be updated, it wouldn't kill you to come out with an alternate hat logo or something.  Fenway Park may be 'classic' but it still sucks.  I'll just rank 25-30 based on their current hats.
25.Rockies-I'll give 'em the same kind of 90's respect I give to the Diamonbacks and Devil Rays, but get a throwback.
26.Yankees-Classic yes, but no throwback.
27.Red Sox-Same as NYY.
28.Twins-Minnesota still gets a moral victory for having produced The Hold Steady.
29.Tigers-At least you have Eminem.
30.Mets-You stole the New York Giants logo.
Well, there you have it.  Throwback had guide version 1.  Do you have any opinions?  Share them, but only if they are in complete agreeance with me.  Take care.